I am now a minister. Whee!
I just got a certificate from
Universal Life Church
saying that I have been ordained and “[have] all rights and privileges
to perform all duties of the Ministry.”
I grepped a bit through Maryland law to see whether there are any
particular restrictions on ordination, but couldn’t find any. As far
as I know, I am now legally empowered to officiate at weddings,
funerals, baptisms, and so on. I trust you will not abuse this by
asking me to actually, like, marry you or anything. In return, I
promise not to molest anyone, fleece my parish, or take the only good
parking space unless I have a reason.