Eine Kleine Weihnachtsmusik

I ran across this video of a Helsinki choir, and thought y’all might like some holiday music, something we can all enjoy, regardless of religion, social status, etc:

(HT UF LOTD.)
Transcript below the fold.

You can’t get rich by working
And love doesn’t last forever
In the public sauna they never ask
If it’s ok to throw water on the stove
Old forests are cut down and turned into toilet paper
And still the toilets are always out of paper
Why products on sale drive the people crazy?
In the middle of Helsinki they built another shopping hell
My neighbour spies on me through the peephole
whenever I come home with guests
and he always arrives too early for his sauna turn.

We always lose to Sweden in hockey and Eurovision.
Christmas season starts earlier every year.
Why do people never agree with me?
Jobs go to China,
tramline 3 smells of pee.
It’s not fair! (x4)

Why is the “Metre Pizza” only half a metre long?
And why is the cord of the vacuum cleaner too short?
– just like summer.
Going to work every morning, then home at night
eventually you lose your mind.
The battery on my mobile is always going flat
and all ring tones are just as irritating.
Ring tones are all irritating. (x3)
[Spoken]: Sorry, I’m in a bad spot. Call me later.

When you buy furniture
all you get is a pile of boards.
Tissues are too rough
and I can never find them when I need to sneeze.
My tights slip when I’m walking.
There is always a tall man in front of me.
At work they pat me on the shoulder
then stab me in the back.

My dreams are boring.
Reference numbers are too long.
Women are still paid less than men.
Bullshitters get on too well in life.
The daily paper is too thick.
Why always me?
It’s not fair! (x4)

The queue for the dentist is over six months long
after waiting for so long
the whole tooth must be pulled out.
Nice shirts get discoloured in the wash
but ugly shirts never do.
People have no time for Fair Trade goods
but still rush to where they grow.
I can’t escape the headlines of the tabloids.
The weather’s always foul.
I don’t get laid enough…
[Spoken, in English]: And the Finnish language is bloody difficult to learn.

We always lose to Sweden in hockey and Eurovision.
Christmas season starts earlier every year.
Why do people never agree with me?
Jobs go to China,
tramline 3 smells of pee.

My flat is tiny yet it eats all my money.
So I’m left with nothing
to save the world with.
People only take a stand in sms-forums.
Idiots don’t know which side to stand on the escalator.
My husband snores too loud
and he walks too slowly
and washes only his hockey-shirts.
And my wife always complains!
It’s not fair! (x4)

Evenings wasted hiding from the TV license inspector
because I don’t want to pay for sports and reality TV.
The employment agency only needs Java programmers.
Old people are fed with tranquilisers so they won’t complain.
My friend likes his mobile phone
more than he likes me.
Our ancestors could have picked a sunnier place to be.

My dreams are boring.
Reference numbers are too long.
Women are still paid less than men.
Bullshitters get on too well in life.
The daily paper is too thick.
Why always me?
It’s not fair! (x4)

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